The wrath of Khat
by NoOneShallKnow
Summary: Another fruitless mission, another transporter malfunction. Rated T for brief mentions of nakedness near the end. Lulz at title, potential crack.


"Three to beam up, Scotty." Jim said flatly, disappointed. Before himself, Spock and McCoy had beamed down, Spock had detected curious energy levels from a certain type of flower that grew along the edges of water sources, but as soon as they had gone to touch one, just _one_, they had all withered and died, leaving a strange, sweet scent all over their clothes.

"Aye, Cap'n."

Silvery swirls surrounded them and Jim felt the familiar twisting feeling in his gut as if he was falling. He cast a look back to make sure Spock and Bones were being beamed also –a few weeks prior Scotty had accidentally left two ensigns behind and it was recognized as a transporter malfunction- before they completely dematerialized.

When the bright rings had vanished, instead of the Captain, First Officer and Chief Medical Officer, three felines were standing on messy piles of clothes.

Atop the rumpled golden shirt was a tiny Seal-point Birman kitten. Its eyes were a soft, bright blue, ears, paws and the area around its nose a light brown that contrasted perfectly with its white fur.

Behind it, on the blue shirt to the first kitten's right, was a half-grown Savannah kitten. The fur along its flanks and paws was a silvery grey, black spots -and stripes on its shoulders- covering it from head to toe. The fur around its nose and ears and along its spine was tan and light grey. The two different colors of its face and the black that lined them made the golden brown of its eyes stand out.

The last, on the other blue shirt, was a full grown Toyger. Its fur was a glistening brownish orange, interrupted by tiger-like stripes. Its eyes were bluish-green, a perfect blend of both that looked sharp and soft all at once because of the tone of its fur.

"Mr. Sulu, Scotty here. We 'ave three wee li'le problems."

--

The Enterprise's team of Science Officers examined the three cats and determined that the change was not permanent and would last two weeks at the most –they had no way to change them back by artificial means without causing damage.

Sulu was given command of the Enterprise until further notice and, under inquiry from Starfleet, made up the excuse that Jim, McCoy and Spock had contracted a non-contagious illness from the planet and were confined to their quarters.

The three cats spent Alpha shift on the Bridge with Uhura, Sulu, Chekov and Everson, Spock's temporary replacement. The Bridge crew easily grew accustomed to finding a cat sleeping on panels or in the middle of the floor and Jim, the tiny, fluffy Birman kitten, was often found curled in someone's lap halfway through the morning.

The whole crew adjusted to the cats, being overly careful and aware of where they stepped out of fear of crushing one of them. They kept cat food –which the three surprisingly liked- on the Bridge, in the Mess Hall, in a few of the rec rooms and down in Engineering.

Everyone loved Jim and he often found himself being carried from place to place in someone's arms. Spock, the Savannah, and Bones, the Toyger, were never far from him, no matter what the situation or where they were.

--

Jim was stumbling about on his short, stubby legs, trying to catch Bones' tail. The large striped cat was walking in circles around the room, tail swishing back and forth, fur at the tip slightly wet and messy from the few times Jim managed to catch it. He stopped every few minutes and the crew laughed without fail every time as Jim pushed onto his hind legs and flailed his front paws wildly, smacking the tip of the orange tail back and forth.

After an hour of playing with the young kitten, Bones curled up beside Chekov's chair lazily, wanting to nap but forcing himself to stay awake so he could watch over Jim. The small, furry body stretched out in the middle of the floor, eyes closed and paws splayed wide.

A Yeoman walked in then and brought a PADD over to Sulu, waiting patiently by his side as he read over it and signed the official report about the supposed illness to file away into the Starship's history. As she started walking away with the PADD under her arm, the Yeoman forgot to look at the floor.

A loud, wailing meow was heard and everyone on the Bridge turned quickly towards the sound. Jim was sitting up, his left hind paw raised into the air. He was cowering away from the blond woman standing before him, large blue eyes fearful. A low growl was heard next as Bones made his way over, staring at the Yeoman. He nosed at Jim's back until the kitten laid down and gave him access to his leg, then softly licked at his paw until he was asleep.

Later that day, on numerous occasions, Spock was seen glaring at the Yeoman in question, large ears pressed back against his head.

--

'_Play with me Spoooooock!'_ Jim crouched back, tail –and the rest of his tiny body- wiggling from side to side.

'_I must decline, Captain.'_ Spock lifted his front right paw and gave it a slow lick before dragging it back over his ear. He placed it back on the floor and stared stoically down at Jim, ears twitching every which way to follow the noise of the Mess Hall.

Jim ignored him completely, pouncing at him and playfully going for his throat, two front paws resting on the larger cat's shoulders. He stretched up and caught one of the large silver ears in his mouth, tugging.

Spock gave the cat equivalent of a sigh and twisted his head away, pushing Jim to the floor and pinning him there with one paw over his ribs. Jim meowed happily as the surrounding people –among them the Bridge Crew- laughed.

'_See Spock, playing is fun!'_

'_I would much rather "take your word for it", as humans say.'_

Spock walked off to the other side of the room, lapping up some fresh water from a bowl placed on the floor. He felt a fraction of his sizeable dignity slip away every time, but as it was a necessity, he ignored it.

"Aw, what a cute kitty." A mocking voice sneered and Spock felt the fur at the back of his neck rise.

The security officer that Jim so 'affectionately' dubbed Cupcake was standing over said kitten, bending at the waist with a hand outstretched, hand big enough to crush the fragile body. Jim yowled fearfully when the hand grabbed him by the back. Numerous crew members stood with angry shouts, moving to help their Captain, but a quick blur of silver beat them to it.

Spock let loose his wild, snake-like hiss and bared his teeth like a dog, back rounded and ears flat on his head. Cupcake just laughed, still bent over with Jim pressed to the floor in his hand. Spock darted forward with his mouth open wide, clamping his jaws as tightly as he could around the man's large wrist. Blood welled up and dripped down over the fur of his chin and neck and he tugged hard.

Cupcake yelled and let go of Jim quickly, shaking his arm to get away. Spock gave one last squeeze and released him, hissing once more and swatting at his arm wildly, claws ripping at cloth and skin. Cupcake ran out of the Mess Hall followed by the sound of the crew congratulating Spock. Spock ignored them completely, moving closer to Jim.

'_Jim, are you alright?' _Spock nudged gently at the kitten's cheek.

'_Yes.. Thank you, Spock.'_ Jim slowly cleaned the blood from Spock's shiny silver fur and the Vulcan-turned-feline tilted his head back to give him more room, knowing Jim would feel better once he completed his task.

Once Jim was done, he sat and looked up at Spock with admiration clear in his eyes. Spock gave a kitty-smirk when he yawned, tongue curling at the tip and tail twitching. He leaned over slightly and carefully took the scruff of Jim's neck between his teeth, lifting and carrying him over to a large cat bed that Scotty had replicated as a joke. He set the small form down and curled around him, purring loudly and licking at his ears to calm him into sleep, following soon after.

--

The rest of the week passed uneventfully. That is, until the ninth day after the transformation when Scotty, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu walked into the Mess Hall for an early breakfast and found McCoy, naked and sleeping, atop one of the tables. Scotty and Sulu fell against each other laughing while Chekov and Uhura tried to stifle their own giggles.

Bones woke with a start, coming dangerously close to falling off the edge of the table. He noticed his nakedness soon after seeing the three laughing crew members. He just huffed and slid off the table, walking in all his naked pride towards the door. He turned back at the last second to find them all staring at him.

"It's sad, y'know, how much y'all want me." He drawled and winked at Chekov, who flushed darkly and averted his gaze quickly.

Across the Enterprise, Spock slowly found himself slipping out of his restful sleep. The first thing he noticed was that his body seemed larger and furless, which lead him to the easy deduction that the transformation had finally worn off. The second thing he noticed was the cool, naked human body pressed against his front. Blond hair was soft on his cheek, smelling faintly of his bamboo shampoo.

Spock made to get out of the bed, but two big blue eyes opened and a hand held tight to his, still slightly tanned skin dark against his own. Jim leaned forward and brushed their lips together softly, pulling back after barely two seconds.

"Don't freak out, okay?" Jim whispered, tucking himself closer to the inhuman heat of his bedmate.

Bondmate, _soulmate_, if the mental connection he had felt when Spock was comforting him the first time was anything to go by.

Spock relaxed and pressed a loving kiss to Jim's forehead.

"I love you."

"I too, T'hy'la."


End file.
